Making honest choices

I have an Israeli Facebook friend, Daniel Schwartz, who, over several of my recent trips to Israel, became a friend in real life; we’ve shared a delicious lunch at Tzidkiyahu and spent a morning chatting over coffee, orange juice, and Roladin donuts in the Hadar mall. (If you ever need an Israeli lawyer — or classic hazan — Daniel is your go-to guy.)

We often disagree about many things, which adds, I think, a tang to the flavor of our relationship. But we were recently on the same page (literally and figuratively) when he posted on FB about the Israeli election: “It doesn’t matter which party you vote for. As long as you’re ashamed of it.” When I commented that “Credit should be given to R. Yitz Greenberg for the quote, paraphrased by you, which he said in reference to Jewish denominations,” Daniel’s reply was as delicious as my Roladin treat: “I was hoping someone would get the reference. That it’s you is not at all surprising.”

But as I write this column in a rare liminal time — the brief window of time between the Israeli and American midterm elections (although it will be published and read only after both are complete) — I realize that Daniel’s (and Rabbi Yitz’s) insight applies just as heavily to America. In our sharply divided political landscape, where each side refuses to budge an inch or cede any territory or argument to the other, where the value of havei dan et kol ha’adam lechaf zechut (judge everyone favorably) (Pirkei Avot 1:6) is ignored, and where tall fences are erected and impenetrable silos inhabited, we too need to look carefully at the parties we vote for and feel a healthy dose of shame.

I make no secret of my political loyalties; my regular readers know exactly where I stand. And I remain hopeful (you already know if my hopes have become reality or been dashed) that the predicted Blue Wave crashed over election booths across the country. But alongside that hope, honesty demands an admission; just as I believe Republicans should be deeply ashamed of their party, Democrats have what to be ashamed of in theirs. Indeed, these respective shames are often just different sides of the same coin.

Consider some examples.

— Democrats should be ashamed that the city with the largest Jewish population elected a Democratic mayor who has expressed deep disdain for Israel, and who consistently misses no opportunity to say the wrong thing about Jews and the Jewish state. Conversely, Republicans should be ashamed that they have twice voted for president — the most powerful office in this country and possibly the world — a person whose character is base, whose disdain for democracy and constitutional rule is evident, and whose cruelty and viciousness, crudeness and vulgarity, and corruption and vindictiveness are manifest.

— Democrats should be ashamed that under the last Democratic administration, lax enforcement at our borders allowed the unchecked entry of numerous illegal/undocumented immigrants, adversely impacting our nation. Meanwhile, Republicans should be ashamed that under the current Republican administration, deportations are being carried out with a blatant disregard for due process and a cruelty unseen since the McCarthy era — regardless of what one thinks about the underlying policy itself.

— Democrats should be ashamed that too many of their representatives — and even a few are too many — have shown a diminished support for Israel. On the other side, Republicans should be ashamed that their leadership has turned its back on the valiant defense of Ukraine against an invading foe, even going so far as to label Putin, a warmongering dictator, a “humanitarian.” (Using that specific nomenclature deserves its own special “for shame.”)

— Democrats should be ashamed of participating in dirty, albeit legal, political tricks in the Alaska senatorial race. And Republicans should be ashamed of undercutting the sanctity of our most precious right — the right to vote — by institutionalizing partisan gerrymandering as core policy, falsely claiming that lost elections are rigged, and instituting a “broad, ongoing pattern of attempted election interference by federal officials.”

There are, of course, more examples that I, and you, can add. But these should suffice to make the point.

To be clear. I don’t view these examples as holding equal weight. Indeed, I strongly believe that there are far more systemic reasons for Republicans to be ashamed of their party than Democrats of theirs. But that conversation will have to await another column or, perhaps, a spirited Shabbat lunch discussion.

What I would like to do here is extend R. Yitz’s original quip beyond its two short, humorous sentences. (I don’t know if this is exactly what he intended, so I take full responsibility for the extension.) Below his words, I read two unstated but powerful points. First, denominations matter. They add richness to our religious experience, make the impact of community more direct, and ultimately elevate our relationships, Torah learning, and religious practice. And second, it’s vital to be committed to a denomination and take it, and Judaism, seriously. Without these two components, shame is meaningless; you can only be truly ashamed of something important you deeply care about.

And the corollary to this extension is the need for us to continue to be dedicated members of our respective denominations while actively recognizing their flaws. We must be willing to fix problems, ease difficulties, and walk back missteps. Commitment, pride, shame, and continued striving for improvement are all necessary components of a mature identity.

This balance is vital not just for Jewish life but for our lives as citizens of our national communities, whether in Israel or the United States. We cannot authentically feel shame for a political party if we don’t also care about its positions, support its platform, and vote for its candidates. Without that active investment, shame is simply an exercise in virtue signaling; with it, it becomes a true reflection on the past and a dedication to a better future.

Life was so much simpler in the days of “Gunsmoke” and the “Lone Ranger.” As we watched these old TV westerns, we knew who the good guys and bad guys were by the hats they wore, the values they espoused, and who was left standing when the dust cleared. There were few ambiguities, questions, or flaws.

Real life, of course, is infinitely more complicated. But as adults, it’s our job to grapple with these ambiguities, decide which groups to support, and confront the shame of their flaws. We need to work with one hand to fix those flaws and with the other to implement those policies and values we are genuinely proud of. In the political realm, the absolute first step of doing that work is voting –—which I hope all of you, both in Israel and here, did over the past few weeks.

As for the hard work of correcting flaws and building for the future, two classic Jewish aphorisms come to mind: Rabbi Tarfon’s reminder, “It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it” (Pirkei Avot, 2:16), and Hillel’s timeless challenge “If not now, when?” (Pirkei Avot, 1:14)

Ready, set, go.

Joseph C. Kaplan of Teaneck, a regular columnist for the Jewish Standard and the New Jersey Jewish News and a Rockower Award recipient, is the author of “A Passionate Writing Life: From ‘In my Opinion’ to ‘I’ve Been Thinking.’” He is a retired lawyer; he and his wife, Sharon, have been blessed with four wonderful daughters and six delicious grandchildren.

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