Passover, part III — questions

Passover, part III — questions

And we are going to make this part three of the Passover series of columns. Why? Because it dawned on me that this holiday is supposed to be the holiday of questions! Is that correct? I probably should confirm that with one of my oreos, but I am going to venture out on my own with this one. I am pretty sure that the whole point of Passover is reading from the Haggadah, and the whole point of reading the Haggadah is so that we can ask questions. Usually those questions should be asked to the generational representatives at the seder table. If you are blessed enough to have grandparents or maybe even great grandparents at the table, that is such a huge and beautiful situation. The questions asked and answered can be life lessons that can be passed down at many seders in the future.

Truthfully, I have been thinking about other questions, and I decided to ask them here. So let’s just get right down to it, shall we? Why do some of us feel guilt and others feel nothing when it comes to caring for people? Especially when it comes to our parents. Even the stupid things. I know that my mother likes the frosting for the Pesach cakes, but it is such a pain to make it, so I thought I wouldn’t make it, but then I felt so guilty that I ended up making it, and she probably didn’t even eat it!! Why the guilt? And then why do some people have siblings who feel absolutely no guilt about anything related to their parents? Why is that? Can someone answer that for me? It just rips my heart out. You can now use the pandemic as an excuse not to see them — but what was your excuse before?

Next question. Why are some people able to see things as half full and other people see something half full and want to dump it on someone else’s head? And those half full people probably never lose their temper, and their kids are never afraid of them. But maybe those half full people don’t have kids who see that the tire pressure is low and ignore it until the tire is flat and make their mother have a nervous breakdown trying to figure out how to put air in the tires when she is in absolutely no mood to do so?? Why? Why couldn’t the glass be half full with tequila??? Sorry. I might have gotten a little carried away with that one.

Here’s another question. Why do kids think that they know more than their parents? I never thought I knew more than my parents. Husband #1 never thought he knew more than his parents. We both did everything our parents told us to do, whether we liked it or not. How did we give birth to children who think we don’t know anything? I am sure we aren’t the only parents who feel this way, but still — how does that happen? Are these questions getting too personal? I promise that I did not have any tequila before writing this.

Here is a more general question. Why is the ocean so calming to look at and to breathe in? But then, why if I am so calm when I am looking at the ocean, do I think of the movie Open Water, where a young couple get left in the middle of the ocean because their scuba tour boat driver didn’t count correctly, and then, spoiler alert, end up getting eaten by sharks? Why do I have to think about that?

Okay. Taking a deep breath. Looking at the ocean again. It is beautiful, it is calming, but there is a whole other life system going on under the water. Are there fish who aren’t listening to their parents? Siblings who aren’t feeling guilty about not visiting their parents at holiday season? Crabs who are really crabby all the time and never see the beauty in their skin type? Is there any chance that anything happening in the ocean reflects the drama that goes on here on dry land? Is the fact that I am asking these question causing any of you to worry about my mental well-being? Or should I not even bother to ask that question for fear of the answer?

Passover, the holiday of questions. Just not the ones I have been asking. Hope you are all having a sane holiday season and are being good and kind to those who love you.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is seriously considering becoming Banji Ganchrow of Florida so she can stare at the ocean all day and come up with ridiculous scenarios that don’t make any sense.

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