A home in the Jewish community

I am deeply ensconced in the Jewish community. I am a past president of Hadassah Northern New Jersey and currently serve on its national board. I am a lay leader in the Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest, where I hold a lead position on the Israel and Overseas Allocation Committee. I am a longtime member of Congregation Agudath Israel in Caldwell and sit on its board of trustees. In addition, I am a life member and supporter of NCJW, a donor to and supporter of JNF, and a former teacher at the Golda Och Academy. One could fairly say that I live fully within the Jewish community.

And yet, there are still moments when I attend an event hosted by an organization outside my primary areas of involvement and find myself wondering: Will I know anyone there? Even when I choose to attend because I want to show support or because the topic or speaker feels important, I don’t always have a friend or family member available to join me. It’s natural to feel that moment of uncertainty.

Last week offered a powerful reminder of why those worries are almost always unfounded. I have committed myself to attending any event where I can hear the testimony of a former hostage or a survivor of the Nova massacre. Regardless of which organization is sponsoring the program, I feel a responsibility to be present, so that I can carry their stories forward to a wider audience. Due to timing, I couldn’t convince any of my closest friends or family to come with me, so I went alone to the Cooperman JCC to hear Eliya Cohen and Ziv Abud tell their stories.

The very first person I saw was a friend who works at the JCC — someone I’ve known for years, ever since I taught one of her children at the Golda Och Academy. Moments later, I ran into a close friend from Federation, who invited me to sit with her. Once I sat down, a steady stream of friends and relatives came over to hug me and say hello: people from my shul, from my school community, and even from my childhood. I was deeply moved by the warmth and sense of family, and by the feeling of being in a space that is safe and nurturing for the broader Jewish community.

When you take the time to connect with other Jews through our communal institutions, you build a family far wider than you ever imagined. I experience this again and again. In December, I attended a JNF event where former hostage Omer Shem Tov told his story. Even though JNF is not one of my primary organizations, the first person I saw was someone I originally knew from Camp Deeny Riback and later from Golda Och Academy. I saw members of my shul and friends from Federation. Once again, it felt like a reunion.

And when Eli Sharabi spoke at a Federation event, the experience was even more profound. His testimony was deeply moving, but so too was the overwhelming outpouring of communal support. I could barely take a step without seeing someone I knew — and either giving or receiving a hug.

All of this leads me to a simple but heartfelt message: don’t hesitate to get involved in a Jewish organization in our community: Hadassah, Federation, JNF, NCJW, your synagogue, and many others. We truly are a welcoming family. We support one another, and we are united in our commitment to strengthening Jewish life here, in Israel, and around the world. Don’t worry that you won’t connect — there will always be someone to talk to, someone who shares the mission, and someone ready to welcome you.

And if one organization doesn’t feel like the right fit, don’t give up on Jewish communal involvement altogether. There will be one that resonates with you. It may take time to find your niche, but I believe you will. I feel incredibly fortunate to live in a community with such deep Jewish and Zionist roots here in Greater MetroWest, and I encourage all of us to get involved in one way or another.

Stephanie Z. Bonder of West Caldwell, MA. Ed., is a Jewish educator who teaches throughout the MetroWest community and the National Hadassah network.

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