Cookbooks

The other day I was in Barnes and Noble, waiting to meet a friend to go mall-walking. It was raining, and when we are experiencing inclement weather, we walk inside. I am explaining that to you because I know you were interested (to be read with sarcasm).

In any event, bookstores make me both happy and frustrated. Happy, because I love books; frustrated, because I know that even though it is a dream of mine, I will never write a book. What I find amazing is the number of cookbooks. It seems like everyone and her mother has written a cookbook (except for me, of course.)

Before I continue with this, I want to discuss the Susie Fishbein cookbooks. Genius. What started as a fundraiser for her children’s school ended up being — and continues to be, God willing, in good health for her and her family — an incredible adventure. Cookbooks, speaking engagements, cooking classes, trips to beautiful places, and teaching generations of men and women the art of yummy kosher cooking.

Now I did not see any of Susie’s cookbooks in Barnes and Noble, but I wanted to exempt her from the comments I am about to make about the hundreds of other cookbooks and their authors.

First, I feel the greatest invention would be a cookbook where you could press on the recipe and it would automatically appear cooked before you, for you and your family to enjoy. That would just be awesome. I am not from the fancy cookers. My main spices are salt and garlic powder. This is because of Husband #1. His palate, which I have discussed before, is that of a 90-year-old man.

His side dish repertoire consists of rice, kasha varnishkas (he just eats the varnishkas so I am not sure why he insists on the kasha part), barley, and Pringles. No, he doesn’t eat potato kugel. Why? I have no idea. The only potato-based food he likes (aside from the previously mentioned Pringles) are french fries. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps just so I have more fodder for my column.

Did you ever count the amount of side dish recipes there are in cookbooks? Hundreds and hundreds. And Husband #1 will not eat any of them.

So there I am, standing in the book store looking at all of these cookbooks filled with recipes that I most likely never will make.

Did you know that Dolly Parton and her sister have a cookbook? I didn’t even bother to look through that one. Then there was a babka cookbook, but one of the recipes was for babka with ham and cheese — which wouldn’t sound tempting even if I did eat ham. There’s a fig cookbook. I have never eaten a fig. Who knew they were so versatile? Basically there’s a cookbook for every food and every mood.

When we were in Israel, we rented an apartment that had only seforim (Jewish books) and three cookbooks. That was their library.

So since the internet was down, I read the cookbooks. One of them told me that tomato paste was a staple for every household. Is tomato paste like tomato-flavored toothpaste? I don’t think I have ever bought that product. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad cook? Should I start cooking with tomato paste?

Honestly, the cookbooks were very entertaining and I did take pictures of several of the recipes. If Husband #1 likes rice and he likes salami, will he like a recipe called “Salami Rice”? I will have to let you know. Though the recipe does call for tomato paste, but I will be leaving it out.

For one of my DIL’s bridal showers, her friends made her a cookbook. It was actually really adorable. They would include pictures of the bride-to-be with whomever submitted the recipe. I love seeing pictures of my daughters-in-law from when they were younger. Is that strange? In any event, the recipes all seemed really yummy. But the funniest recipe was for ice. Yes, place water into an ice cube tray and put in freezer. Awesome. Everyone loves ice, even Husband #1!

It’s the healthy eating cookbooks that always puzzle me. How many different ways can one make kale? Or chocolate cake out of prunes? Shouldn’t that be called Prune Cake?

That’s all I got this week. May all of your recipes be enjoyable and enjoyed in good health.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck made DIL #2’s sesame chicken and noodles, and it came out really yummy. No, Husband #1 did not eat it.