Happy talk
We certainly live in a weird world. You know what I mean! Bombs bursting in guest houses. Ex-presidents spouting racist screeds. Airlines afraid to fly. American and Israeli hostages still languishing in Hamas hideouts in Gaza. And that’s just the tip of the melting iceberg. Certainly much more to come.
And if you, like we, were planning to get to Israel in the next few days via United Air, or Delta, or anyone not called El Al, there’s no need to check your passport. Try the Jersey Shore instead.
It’s true that there’ve been some good happenings too. The prisoner exchange — welcome home, Evan. Happy to see you! And America and Israel have both been brilliant lights at the Olympics. We’re proud American Jews!
And now, right hot off the press, we’ve just come back from a wonderful l’chaim to celebrate the engagement of our Sefi to his bashert, Shari. How excited are we? On a scale of 1 to 10 we are of course an 11! They are a beautiful pair, in their early 20s, enthusiastic and devoted Jews, precisely the fulfillment of our dreams, not to mention the dreams of their parents. We’ve grown to love Shari as one of our own, and now, most happily, she is in fact one of our own!
What every family needs, always, is good news. Planning a wedding is truly a world-class event. The news is welcome to parents, grandparents (that’s us), siblings, and the Jewish world at large. We Jews love in-marriage. We love that these kids we love are in love. We’re thrilled that they found each other. And who enjoys a wedding as much as ancient grandparents having a hurrah — whether it’s our last we cannot know, but a hurrah is a hurrah!
And it grows our family in so many beautiful ways. Today we met Shari’s family, and it felt so comfortable. It’s a wedding within the tribe. No artifice. Just down-to-earth Jews meeting and greeting and discovering all the details of our union. We know when a couple gets married, it becomes more than a moment in time for their families. Their families share a common bond that will continue to flower forever. So it’s with so much pleasure that we welcome Shari’s family to our hearts. Even now, at the very beginning, they don’t feel like strangers. They feel like mishpocha! And all at once our family head count has grown exponentially.
And amongst our grandchildren, this newly announced wedding-to-be brings us beyond the halfway point, meaning that eight of our grandkids have found their beshert. Never satisfied am I. I want more and more and more!
They did this without the help of a matchmaker or even a computer program. Can you believe? They did this the old-fashioned way, like most of their ancestors.
On the wall in our kitchen we have pictures of what I call the founder weddings. We have my parents and my husband’s parents, all in their wedding finery, surrounded by their parents and siblings, a permanent testament to our roots. My parents met via the Bauman House, that special place that we loved. But it wasn’t so simple. It wasn’t boy meets girl. Dad was living in California and Mom was working in Parksville when two of Dad’s sisters joined the staff and took a liking to her. They thought she’d be perfect for their brother Sam, so they introduced them, via regular mail. For three long years Ida and Sam wrote to one another. Those letters flew across the nation and were eagerly awaited by the recipients. How old fashioned is that? And through those letters, love blossomed, and they realized that meeting face to face was an imperative.
The rest is family lore. They confirmed their love in person and went on to have more than 60 years of an extraordinary and devoted marriage.
My sister and I are the results of that union, and it’s only fitting that 20 years later, I also married a guy I met in Parksville.
Of course meet-ups are not only Parksvillian. Camps are pretty good places for couples to find their mates. Our eldest daughter met her amazing husband, with whom she shares five children and seven grandchildren, and counting, at Camp Ramah, where they were both on staff. Ramah has a long list of similar marriages of couples who found each other at one of their many camps.
One of our couples met in high school. Others at college. Others in Israel. Others were recommended by friends. Tried and tested, love flowers wherever it can take root. All we parents and grandparents need to do is imbue those Jewish values and nurture the seedlings. Nature will take care of the rest!
To Shari and Sefi, let the world know we are singing from the rooftops to share our happiness. One day, far in the future, may you know this joy from your own children and grandchildren. And may you be blessed with the same priestly blessing that the two of you receive every Friday night. This is indeed a Shehechayanu moment!
Rosanne Skopp of West Orange is a wife, mother of four, grandmother of 14, and great-grandmother of seven. She is a graduate of Rutgers University and a dual citizen of the United States and Israel. She is a lifelong blogger, writing blogs before anyone knew what a blog was! She welcomes email at rosanne.skopp@gmail.com
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