Silver fox

Ladies and gentleman, allow me to present you with yet another “you know you are getting old when…”. Forget about walking into a room and not remembering why you are there. Forget making it all the way down to the basement and having no idea why you walked down the stairs. And then walking back up to the kitchen and realizing what you forgot in the basement and then going back downstairs just to forget again.

If you are a neurologist reading this, feel free to offer a diagnosis.

In any event, last week, Husband #1 and I did something that older couples do. We did something that we used to make fun of when our parents told us they were doing it. That’s right, we went for our flu shots together.

After consulting with my friend/neighbor/doctor to find out if it was flu shot season and if it was all right if I got the flu shot at CVS, I called Husband #1 to make the appointment. I asked him instead of doing it myself because my phone is not upgradable for the CVS app and it is so frustrating that sometimes I want to throw the phone across the room.

Does this happen to anyone? You get a text from your doctor’s office and you have to put your birthday in, and then it says it’s loading the information and then a little circle goes around and around and around and….I can never open the text. Stupid smartphone.

So we make the appointment for our couples shots and off to CVS we go. I have found that a lot of the supermarkets and other stores, like CVS, always have delightful ’80s music playing in the background. While the lovely nurse was preparing my shot, I said, “Wow, I just love Sting and he has aged so well.” Silence. Crickets. And then, “Who is Sting?” Oh my.

I started to tell her all about the musical legend that is Gordon Sumner, aka Sting. I asked her if she had ever heard of the Police. Nope. I could feel my wrinkles increasing and my menopause not pausing.

When I was telling her how good looking he was and still remains and what great shape he is in, she said, “Oh, like a silver fox?” And I said, “Sort of, but Richard Gere is the quintessential definition of silver fox.” Silence. Crickets. More gray hair. Come on lady, stop making me feel like I’m 100… Though, I am not a big fan of Richard Gere anymore because of his political views, he still is really good looking.

So Husband #1 and I now have our flu shots and I left CVS feeling that I needed some Geritol. Do they still sell Geritol? Those vitamins for old people…all good.

Continuing with the theme, I told Son #1 that I will be quoting him this week. “Mom,” he said, “The first 40 years you never repeated a story. The next 20 years you repeat the story, but remember that you repeated it. And then after those 20 years, you just repeat without remembering that you already told the story 50 times. “

I kind of thought that was a pretty insightful comment for a kid in his 20s to make. But he is pretty on the mark. Some of us are blessed with the ability to remember everything and have our wits about us for an entire lifetime. You always hear, “He/she was totally with it until the end.” And then, more often than not, unfortunately, you hear the “Poor thing had no idea what was going on. It was really a blessing.”

I hear both sides of that imaginary argument. We want to get old, but we want to get old well. And we have absolutely no control over any of it. People who eat well and exercise don’t always live longer, and people who smoke and can’t get up from their couch don’t always live less (please don’t lecture me about how it is still better to eat well and exercise. When chocolate is 75 percent off after Halloween, I am still going to buy it and enjoy it.)

May Hashem bless all of us with good health, longevity, and family and friends who love us.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck feels very blessed to have been able to spend three consecutive shabboses on the Island of Long.