Summer 2024
Twenty-nine years ago, Husband #1 and I went to Israel for our honeymoon. Our trip started with our flight being delayed because of something with the air traffic controllers. This is only ironic because, as I have shared with you, we were delayed 10 days coming home from our most recent “honeymoon” in Israel.
Twenty-nine years ago, we got on the plane, I was all excited to bond with my new husband, and in less than five minutes, he fell asleep. It was really romantic, and it set the standard for the rest of our marriage.
It is kind of surreal realizing that an entire lifetime has passed. We raised three amazing boys. We have been living together longer than we lived with our parents. We have been through wonderful times, terrible times; happiness, sadness, and, through all of it, Husband #1 has not gained any weight. How is that humanly possible????
Many of my readers have given me a hard time about what I write about Husband #1. After all, he is the nice one. Everyone loves Husband #1 — his boys like him more, his granddaughters like him more…and I am just here to cook and clean (insert violin music here).
I got to Israel two weeks before Husband #1 did. My Danish is a tough cookie. If she doesn’t want to hug you, she won’t. But as soon as Husband #1 got to Israel, she looked at him with her big blue eyes and said, “Papaaaa” and then ran into his arms. Really? Are you kidding me?
This is what I get from Husband #1.
He is in the kitchen eating his breakfast and all of a sudden, “Banj! Banj! I think there is something in this roll. Is there something in this roll?”
I run into the room and there, in his hand, is a tooth. Well, technically, it was a crown that had fallen off.
He thought it was an old noodle in the roll.
I couldn’t stop laughing. And not just laughing, the really good laughing, where you can’t stop laughing and tears start pouring out of your eyes.
When I think about it now, it still makes me laugh. Does that make me a terrible person?
Of course, later that day, when he was writhing in pain on the floor from a kidney stone, and Danish was delicately wiping the sweat off of his forehead, it wasn’t so funny. But he wasn’t going to the hospital.
“Why?” I ask, feeling helpless, looking at the father of my children in such agony.
“Because,” he whispers breathlessly — the pain has knocked the wind out of him. “It… will… be… too…. expensive….”
Yup. And that is why he stayed home. God was really watching over him because, after four very long hours, the pain subsided, and he was all ready to fast on Tisha B’Av.
Never a dull moment with Husband #1.
We have had some really memorable anniversaries. The one where I had to share a bed with Sons 2 and 3 because the motel we were in on our road trip ran out of cots. Our 10th anniversary, spent in Chicago celebrating my brother’s wedding; our 25th anniversary, during covid, when our boys compiled a beautiful poster of photos of our friends holding up letters or numbers spelling out “Happy 25th Anniversary Mom & Dad.” And then this year.
Camp Babka was in full swing on our 29th anniversary. But, Baruch Hashem, is there a better way to celebrate your anniversary then babysitting for the child who made you grandparents? (And serving your husband leftovers from Shabbos?) No, there is not.
When I explained to Strudel what an “anniversary” is, she asked to see the album from my wedding. She is familiar with albums because she looks through the pictures from her parents’ and her uncles’ weddings.
As she flipped through the pages, pointing out the people she recognized and thank God she recognized me or I would have felt even older than I am, she very matter-of-factly said, “I like Dil #3’s dress better than yours.”
It was really funny and really adorable. (And no, she didn’t say Dil #3. She called her by her real name.)
And that is that for this week. I am really hoping to stay married for another year because, next year, God willing, I can finally cash the savings bond that we got as a gift from my cousin Bernard. I honestly believe that not losing that bond is a greater accomplishment than staying married…
Hope the rest of the summer is peaceful, healthy and enjoyable.
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is looking forward to another week of Camp Babka. This week’s activities include toddler daf-yomi and a field trip to the mikvah.
comments