What can we talk about?
Once upon a time, when we would sit down to Friday night dinner, or seudah, as my children now call it, the table was filled with kids and stories and noise. I would be running back and forth to the kitchen, being the sweet and accommodating mother that I am (or short-order cook, however you would like to look at it). There was never a lull in conversation. Those conversations were once filled with baseball, football, and basketball and then slowly made their way to Rashi, Ramban, and Mesilat Yesharim. (And of course, during any of those conversations, they were always ganging up on me.)
As you get older and your kids grow up, the tablescape of conversation changes. The number and ages of people at your table changes, and sometimes there are just two people at the table (if you are blessed enough to have a significant other). Though, as a side point, when our kids first started going to school, the talk was about getting tuition to be less. Now our kids are done with school, and the talk is still about the tuition crisis. I guess some things never change. But that is a whole other conversation.
Husband #1 and I can finish a meal in 10 minutes. Sometimes less, depending upon if I am upset with him or not. He tries to be creative, so the meals take longer. Please feel free to use any of his ideas.
One Shabbos, he took out approximately 20 benchers (of the about 2,000 that we have). He decided that we were going to figure out where the simcha was and who we sat with. Fun game, right? Of course, it would be even more fun if we could remember more of the details. But it did take more than 10 minutes, so that was something.
Get New Jersey Jewish News's Newsletter by email and never miss our top stories Free Sign Up
A few weeks ago, we went to someone’s house for Friday night dinner and we noticed that they had a game called TableTopics. “What’s this?” I asked.
Well, TableTopics is the answer to every empty nester’s question: “What are we going to talk about tonight?”
First of all, the game itself comes in a very nice Lucite box, so you can leave it out and it looks lovely. Also, when you go on Amazon to order it, there are all sorts of editions. I ordered the 10th anniversary regular edition and the Grandparent Grandchild version. Each comes with 135 questions, and the questions range from really interesting to really ridiculous, but they all lead to interesting conversations, which is the whole point of the game.
So now that we have the games, when we have had company, we have broken out the TableTopics. A few weeks ago, we had a very nice couple over. I like the wife a lot, and the husband, well, I like to drive him crazy. And we played the game. One of the questions was, “What was your favorite game as a child?”
Well, the husband of this couple started talking about stickball and all sorts of outdoor games, which made him sound like he was 100 years old, even though he is only a few years older than we are. But though he might not admit it, I think he liked the memories, which I think it is the point of the game.
“Would you rather meet your great- great-grandchild or your great-great- grandparent?” “Would you rather be the worst player on a championship team or the best player on the worst team?” All kinds of questions that lead to all sorts of discussions. And for the most part, none of them lead to the all-evil lashon hara, speaking ill of others, so that is a win-win for everyone’s dinner table!
Unfortunately, the topic at many of our tables has been the unbearable anniversary of October 7. I would be remiss if I did not acknowledge that, especially since I will be visiting Danish and her family.
The world as we know it will never be the same for this generation. So, perhaps, discussing “If you could have your dream job, what would it be?” Or “What is your favorite picture?” isn’t so bad….
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck hopes you all have an easy and meaningful fast and that you are all sealed in the Book of Life…
comments