Last week, this Babka took a “Flopka.” Translation — I fell when I slipped on some acorns or pebbles that were underneath some leaves that had yet to be picked up by the town. Was that passive aggressive? In all fairness, it was dark, but the result was the same. I slipped and fell on my right knee, which, of course, is my bad knee. In any event, after I fell, a car turned the corner and I was convinced that since it was dark, the driver couldn’t see me lying on the ground and was definitely going to hit me.
Well, thank God the car didn’t hit me, but the person driving it did pull over, got out, and offered me some assistance. I have no idea who that person was, but if that person is reading this, I just want to say thank you for not hitting me with your car and offering me some help.
Fortunately, I was able to get up by myself and continue to walk to the market to buy Husband #1 donuts for his breakfast. Nothing stops me from making sure Husband #1 has his donuts. Kind of like the mailman, who delivers the mail in all kinds of weather, I bring Husband #1 his donuts, even when I’m injured.
As for my knee, it is swollen, bruised, and not cooperating when I do stairs, get in and out of the car, or up and down from a chair. But, hopefully, after reading what my doctor from WebMd told me and following all his instructions, I will be good as new in a few days, I hope. The doctor told me to RICE, which, of course, I though meant to eat rice. Eat rice? I can totally do that! I continued reading to see if I could put butter and cheese on the rice, but, alas, that wasn’t the case. Apparently, RICE stands for Rest, Ice (which I did with a frozen bagel because it was the perfect size), Compress (which I hope meant wear an ace bandage) and Elevate (which is easy to do when lying in bed watching mindless, escapist televised entertainment. However, if my Oreos ask, they are talks on Torah.)
Will it work? Only time will tell. We will add this to the list of injuries I have acquired since turning 50. Don’t worry, I won’t go into them again. Ahh, I fondly remember needing my first root canal after turning 40 and thinking, “wow, 40 isn’t so bad,” blah blah blah. Getting old is fun! Just look at all the happy people on the pages of the AARP magazine I get every month. Are those folks just really well medicated? Are they actually 20-years-olds wearing makeup to make them look older? That investigation is for another time. But I am so curious to know if any of them keep leaving the second key for their car in their car, so whenever they leave their car with the first key, the car starts beeping furiously and you have no idea why.
Has this happened to any of you? This is what I learned. If you leave your key in the car (keep in mind you don’t realize that your key is in the car because it has fallen between the seats) and you have your other key, you are able to lock the second key in the car. This means that if you lose your first key, you cannot unlock the doors even if the second key is in the car. Does that make any sense? I thought the whole point of these fancy key fobs was that you couldn’t lock your key in the car?
Now, your car does try to tell you that you have a second key in the car because it starts beeping. When you are me, you look at the dashboard and wonder if you forgot to turn the car off, so you press the ignition button again, and turn the car on again. Hmmm, that’s weird. Why is the car beeping? So you turn the car off and go your merry way; not realizing that if you forget to lock the door, someone can go into your car and drive away with it, because the other key is in the car. Yet, if you lock the door and misplace your key, you cannot get the second key because it is locked in the car.
I am going to ice my knee and eat some rice because my head is starting to hurt from that tutorial. In summation, always look where you are walking and make sure you know where your car keys are.
Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is falling apart, but that is okay because Strudel helps keep her together. Big responsibility for such a little person,w and yet it works!