Oops!
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Oops!

With tremendous gratitude to God, I can write this with humor.

At the time, it was a little a scary. I also waited to write about this just to make sure that all was okay. For now, thank God, it is. So here we go.

Husband #1 fell on the ice and landed on the back of his head. Apparently that is the best place to land if you’re going to fall, because the back of your skull is the strongest part. Who knew? All these years, I have been making fun of his extra-large cranium, and all these years, he had this extra-large cranium to protect him from this fall. A group of fine young men found Husband #1 lying on the ice, dazed and confused. He had blacked out. According to the timetable, he could not have been lying there for more than 10 or 15 minutes, which is a good things because it was beyond freezing that day. The group of fine young men helped him up and walked him home. Husband #1 still has no recollection of falling, or of how he got home.

I told one of the fine young men to go get our neighbor/friend/doctor to assess the situation. Husband #1 sat down and kept asking me, “Did I fall?” “Where did I fall?” And then again, “Did I fall?” “Where did I fall?” Our neighbor/friend/doctor walked in and started to ask him some questions. You know those questions that people make fun of, like, “What year is it?” “Who is the president?” Well, Husband #1 couldn’t answer those questions. What really got us worried is not that he couldn’t remember the current president, but that he couldn’t remember his predecessor. Then we were really nervous.

Husband #1 and I were going to the ER. On shabbos. Our neighbor/friend/doctor became a little more relaxed about Husband #1’s medical condition because Husband #1 asked our neighbor/friend/doctor to stand outside while we pulled out of the driveway so he could tell anyone who might see us driving on the sabbath why we were doing so. Yes, Husband #1 was coming back to me. Thank God.

Long story kind of short, Husband #1 had a concussion and a lovely bruise on the back of his head. He was able to remember how he couldn’t remember the answers to the questions that he was asked, so that was a really good thing also. After two some odd hours, we were back home, where Husband #1 made kiddish and ate some gefilte fish. Don’t worry, I was very kind and compassionate to him for the next few days. I even made him tuna fish and didn’t make fun of the fact that he cannot make it for himself (though I might have just ruined that by making fun of him now). I am so grateful to the fine young men who brought him home and to our neighbor/friend/doctor for all of their help. And I am so grateful that I can write about it, and there is a happy ending. Of course now every time Husband #1 doesn’t remember something, he blames it on the concussion, and I don’t have that same excuse. And that was the story that I couldn’t write about last week. I hope you all aren’t too disappointed with it.

In any case, I write this column during yeshiva week. I only know it is yeshiva break because my 7-year-old bff is on vacation from yeshivas noyam. So like most people, I had to go to an exotic location. This one begins with the letter “B.” Bermuda? Bahamas? Belgium? Barbados? You guessed it, Baltimore. And not only am I in Baltimore, but I am in the parking lot of one of the many Temple destinations, so Son #3 could partake in the afternoon prayer. Yup, middle aged, jeans-wearing me in a parking lot filled with oreos with all different styles of black hats. It got me thinking back to all of the other winter vacations I spent in parking lots while my oreos prayed — there was Rhode Island, Bnei Brak, Miami, just to name a few. All good memories. I have to believe that all of that praying over the years is a part of why Husband #1’s fall ended well. Hope I pulled that all together nicely.

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck is very excited to be staying with her favorite sister while visiting Son #3. She would also like to wish Son #2 a very happy and healthy birthday.

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