Round One

Round One

I hope all of you had a wonderful holiday celebration; or as I like to call it, Round One of Four. Or four meals down, 10 meals to go. Having honey on challah makes me so happy — why can’t we do that all year long? Don’t we want sweetness all year long? Though, not surprisingly, Husband #1 is not a fan of honey, so he can’t wait to go back to salt. Such is life.

I will take the sweetness when I can and only buy those adorable honey bears when they are on sale. Just for the record.

Our new fruit this year was a pleasant-tasting kiwi; but, as I have said before, Husband #1’s new fruit might as well be the apple because he is not the healthiest of eaters and the only fruit he will eat is an orange. And he will only eat said orange during chol hamoed Sukkot, when he can’t get to a sukkah for his snack. Don’t ask. The not-eating-healthy thing is not my fault.

Fun fact, the healthiest vegetable Husband #1 eats are pickles. Are those healthy?

The Fanta he drinks has a lovely picture of an orange on the can. Does that count as healthy? Does anyone think that because there is an orange on the can there is actual orange in the beverage? It would be nice if there were some nutritional value in it, but alas, you can’t always get what you want. At least the orange soda syncs with the only fruit Husband #1 enjoys.

Back to Round 1.

Husband #1 and I celebrated the holiday with my mom and Aide #1. Aide #1 is an actual angel, and we love how much he loves the religion and learning about the religion. There are few things more entertaining than explaining the whole “one day in Israel, two days in America” situation to someone of another religion. Somehow, Husband #1 needed to explain the whole concept of what happens to the widow of a brother in relation to the other brother — the shoe, hitting the shoe — Aide #1 was looking at Husband #1 with total respect and interest, whilst I, the oh-so-supportive wife, was rolling my eyes and scoffing at the whole explanation. Yes, I am a terrible person.

In other news, it is always both comforting and emotionally exhausting to sleep at my parents’ house without my dad there. There are always pictures to be found, memories everywhere, unexpected bouts of tears… Uggg, it’s just sad and a part of life. And sad. But I am so grateful to have had my dad for as long as I did.

When I was reading the machzor in English about the angels who are surrounding God, my mind just went to my dad being one of those angels. In the scenario in my mind, my dad must have won the lottery of new residents of wherever he is, and, hopefully, he was helping get all my loved ones in the good book for this coming year.

I wonder if other people have these weird thought processes. For example, with tremendous hakarat hatov, I am humbled to announce that Son #1 and DIL #1 gave Strudel a little sister last week. In my mind, my dad and my father-in-law were passing each other in the hall, going to their respective areas for the day (perhaps Ebbets Field for my dad and a Rabbi Moshe Tendler class for my father-in-law) and they shook hands, gave each other a hug and a “mazal tov,” and just kept walking.

Those thoughts give me comfort. And this column has really taken a turn from me letting you know that I enjoy honey on my challah…

As for the humor part of this column, one of my favorite artists passed away last week. That is not the humor part. The artist’s name is/was Fernando Botero and your homework after you read this is to Google his work.

As you can imagine, Botero was known for his sculptures of zaftig women. My sister and I had seen a bunch of his work in Las Vegas when we went there for my 40th birthday, and I loved taking pictures next to them because I felt so at home. Like when you go to Sesame Place and you feel anorexic. In any event, he is worth looking up in between cooking for Round 2 and making menus for Rounds 3 and 4.

Hope all of your prayers are answered, and that all of your food comes out the way you want it to!

Banji Ganchrow of Teaneck was very excited to meet unexpected readers of her column. As a middle child, she is always seeking validation for her work. And for this, her family makes fun of her. What can you do?

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