‘They could have just given money’
B’nai Jeshurun brings Nir Oz children and parents to Short Hills to aid healing

It started with a modest but meaningful pledge to help replace the bicycles Hamas terrorists stole from Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7.
It mushroomed into a $1 million pledge toward rebuilding the Nir Oz community, where many lives were stolen or forever changed during that “Black Sabbath” attack.
Matthew D. Gewirtz, senior rabbi of Temple B’nai Jeshurun in Short Hills — the Reform congregation that is New Jersey’s largest synagogue, with 1,300 member families — explained that following his trip to Israel with several other rabbis shortly after the massacre to see how they could help, his congregation decided to raise a million dollars for a specific affected community.
But which one? That day, thousands of terrorists had invaded and wreaked destruction on 21 Gaza border settlements.
“We didn’t know much about Nir Oz except that 25 percent of its residents were murdered or kidnapped, but the name kept popping up,” Rabbi Gewirtz said.
About 150 terrorists had stormed the kibbutz of some 400 residents, slaughtering 40 people and abducting 77 others. Eleven are known to have been murdered in captivity, and 36 still are held hostage in Gaza.
TBJ members have taken group trips to Israel nearly annually for the past 18 years, from the time Rabbi Gewirtz came on board. These trips have been organized and guided by Joel Rosenfeld, who made aliyah from Teaneck in 1984 and now directs marketing for North America at incoming tour company Isram.
Mr. Rosenfeld doesn’t live near Gaza, but his daughter served in an IDF intelligence unit with Tamar Kedem Siman Tov, 35, and her husband, Yonatan “Johnny” Siman Tov, 36. The Siman Tovs were murdered in their home in Kibbutz Nir Oz on October 7, and so were their 5-year-old twin daughters, 2-year-old son, and Mr. Siman Tov’s mother, Carol.
“When Tamari and Johnny were killed, their unit’s alumni association decided to raise money and adopt Nir Oz,” Mr. Rosenfeld said. “They started with the initial goal of giving bikes to the survivors” — initially housed at a hotel in Eilat and now in temporary housing in Kiryat Gat — “to restore a sense of normalcy.
“My daughter sent me the appeal letter to copy-edit in English, and I sent it to my own contacts, including Matt and his wife, Lauren.” This led to a TBJ donation of several thousand dollars toward the goal.
When the Gewirtzes and their children went to Israel in December to volunteer, Mr. Rosenfeld arranged a visit to Nir Oz.
They met with former resident Chen Itzik, head of YAHAM, a large agricultural cooperative overseeing production and marketing for Western Negev farms including Nir Oz.
“Chen told us it’s not just about rebuilding physically but also emotionally,” Rabbi Gewirtz said. “Residents of Nir Oz are still displaced, and many are not sure they could ever go back after what they saw there.”
Mr. Itzik himself had a harrowing experience. Early on the morning of October 7, he and his family locked themselves in their home’s safe room, which was fortified against the Gazan rockets and missiles that have rained down on the Western Negev periodically for about 20 years. Luckily, he’d installed a lock on the heavy door — something most people hadn’t done, because safe rooms were not created to keep out human intruders.
Terrorists tried three times to get in, unsuccessfully, then lit the house on fire, using gas tanks from the backyard barbecue that they ignited with a rocket-propelled grenade, Rabbi Gewirtz said.
“The safe room is fireproof, but smoke came in, and they worried about suffocating to death,” he said. “They had a couple of towels and tissues but no water. Chen instructed his family to urinate on the towels and tissues and put them in the cracks around the door to stop the smoke from coming in. I’m in awe of how Chen saved his family.”
Confident that his congregants and others in the Short Hills area would respond generously, as they’d already provided assistance to army units and evacuees, Rabbi Gewirtz committed to raising a million dollars to help Nir Oz survivors.
Indeed, the TBJ lay leadership didn’t hesitate to approve the pledge. “Ultimately the question we asked ourselves was, ‘What is our obligation to do our part?’
Mr. Itzik told the rabbi that he didn’t want to take the gift until the kibbutz members determined the best use for the money.
In January, Rabbi Gewirtz went back to Israel on a solidarity trip with 36 TBJ members. They spoke with Nir Oz survivors in Kiryat Gat and at Hostages Square in Tel Aviv. They got permission from the army to visit Nir Oz, where Mr. Itzik took them around to see the devastation. Rabbi Gewirtz said he will “never be able to unsee” these sights, including soldiers sifting through piles of ash looking for human remains.
When the visitors learned that nine Nir Oz children are becoming b’nai mitzvah this year, they decided to use a portion of the million-dollar pledge to sponsor a trip to New Jersey for these kids and one parent each, twinning the Israelis with about 15 member children of the same age.
“They’re amazing,” Rabbi Gewirtz said about his congregants. “They could have just given money and they did so much more to connect on a personal level with people who need a release and relief from reality.”
Only one Nir Oz child declined to participate. This child had been a hostage, and his father is still held in Gaza.
The remaining eight kids — twin girls and six boys — and seven parents, including Mr. Itzik, got acquainted with the Americans on Zoom before flying for a nine-day stay at the end of June.
Because they wished to remain as a group, the visitors were put up in a hotel rather than private homes. A congregational lay committee led by Amy Ladetsky of Short Hills hosted them for activities in between their adventures.
Ms. Ladetsky explained that she was on the TBJ solidarity mission in January and unhesitatingly volunteered to organize the trip for the Nir Oz group, as her own son was celebrating his bar mitzvah in June.
“I reached out to a TBJ member and amazing travel agent, Amy Talbert, to help plan the trip,” she said. “We had multiple Zoom calls with Chen Itzik; his wife, Michal; Cantor Lucy Fishbein from TBJ; and another Nir Oz mom to discuss what the kids were interested in doing. They were looking for bonding activities where their children could connect, as they have not been living together in the kibbutz since October 7. They were interested in hiking, outdoor activities, and adventure activities.”
Ms. Ladetsky’s committee reached out to the TBJ community and found volunteers happy to host a pool party and a hibachi dinner, sponsor a Broadway show, and lead a hike in the South Mountain Reservation. Local restaurants Liv Breads, Chutzpah, and Sonny’s Bagels agreed to provide food gratis.
“I called Adam Baranker, the director of Jeff Lake Day Camp, where our son had his bar mitzvah on June 15, and he offered to host all the children to experience a typical day at the camp filled with lake activities, swimming in the pool, tennis, baseball, basketball, mini golf, and pickleball,” Ms. Ladetsky said. “We also took them to Six Flags Great Adventure and Hurricane Harbor water park.”
Yali Goren, a post-high-school emissary from Israel volunteering at TBJ through a program of the Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest, led icebreakers and games to help the Israeli and American children get acquainted despite the language barrier. Mr. Goren accompanied many of the joint activities until the Israelis returned home on June 30.
Ms. Ladetsky said she was gratified at the outpouring of offers to host and sponsor activities.
“We had so many people involved, it was amazing. And I got more and more volunteers once they met the kids. All the families that got involved loved all the kids from Israel. Even if the Israeli kids didn’t speak English well, they connected with our kids through the activities, and they want to stay connected afterward.
“They really are like family after being here only a short time. It’s just magic how this all worked out.”
Because Nir Oz is a secular kibbutz, the only traditionally Jewish activity on the agenda was Friday night services at TBJ on the night they arrived. Mr. Itzik spoke to the congregation and the guests were treated to a Shabbat dinner with the TBJ clergy team.
“I think this experience is going to create real bonds between our kids and their kids,” Ms. Ladetsky said. “A lot of our kids have never been to Israel and want to go now. And lot of Israeli parents asked if we had family there and when I said ‘no,’ they said ‘Now you do.’
“They were very open with sharing what happened to them on October 7. They went through such a tragedy, and it was very uplifting for us to help them by organizing this special trip.”
Mr. Itzik said that his main goal for the trip “was to allow these kids, who have gone through so many horrible things, to breathe freely in a very nice relaxing atmosphere, and I think we achieved this big time.”
His other goal was to provide a way for the kids simply to be together, which has been difficult during their displacement.
“They grew up with each other and were always together in the kibbutz. But when we moved to Kiryat Gat, everyone is sitting in their apartments with their cell phones, and they lost their togetherness. So it was a great experience for them to do as a group. I think the greatest moment was in Jeff Lake Camp, when they felt like they were home on the kibbutz playground.”
Speaking for himself, Mr. Itzik said it was very moving to share the Nir Oz story with the TBJ community and to feel how much they cared.
“We are very appreciative that the families so generously opened their homes and hearts to us,” he said. “I have no words to describe the warmth of this community; it was truly something special.”
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